Changes happens whether you want it to or not, and we have to roll with it,look it square in the eye and adopt. I feel sad, anxious, and excited, at the changes taking over my life at the moment. At the end of 2015 I left the charity I worked for; for many years,firstly because I didn’t like the direction it was taking, and secondly I wanted to work closer to home. The daily three hours commute, meant, especially in the winter months that I was going to and from work in the dark.  So I exchanged working for a large children’s charity  for working in local government, in the hope that it would be my last job until retirement. That was not to be the case and 12 months in the post, I find my self looking for a new job. I love my job, love my work family, and I get great satisfaction from seeing troubled families taking their first steps toward making positive changes in their lives.

I have not always worked for charities or with troubled families, I have tried working in investment banking, and hated every moment of it. Within hours of joining the firm I knew that it wasn’t for me and walked out after a few weeks never to returned. I have worked for the BBC, the Queen, Richard Branson, CBS, I have been a gofer, fetcher and all things in between but I always returned to my first love working with the vulnerable. I remember the butterflies, the trembling hands, the dry mouth and the excitement of starting a new job, meeting a new family.I thought I’d lost the ability to have such feelings after working in my field for so many years, but I was wrong.

Recently I discovered those feelings again, in writing. Its taken the place  of my old love, and like all new love affairs I get butterflies in my stomach whenever I open my laptop and sit down to write. I never expected that to happen, in the week that I discovered that Imzadi Publishing liked my manuscript and wanted to publish it, I applied for a new position within the local authority and was more excited and nervous at the prospect of managing a team than I was about the publication of my book which surprised me. The post was put on hold then was withdrawn due to consultation over budget cuts and I continue in my old role until just before Christmas when I was told that they have to end my contract. I am not in the process of looking for another job, while not wanting to leave my work family or put my new found love on the back burner.

I am looking forward to the publication of Dragon Bone on May 30th and desperately want to lock myself in a room and just write but I can’t. I am forced to adopt to changes beyond my control. My hours have been chopped from 37 to 18 and what I really want to do is spend my time writing, but instead I have to job search and complete applications.

I have recently completed the second round of editing of Dragon Bone, and was looking forward to going back to writing Lost, the second instalment in the Battle For the Four Realms trilogy but I can’t right now. On casual perusal of the job pages two posts  that I should apply for have appeared so, my old love of eating, drinking, and  keeping a roof over my head is getting in the way of my new love. I was never built to be a starving artist, I’ve spent too many years cultivating my fine Rubenesque figure only to see it melt away, that’s one change I am not willing to make.


About fourrealm

I was brought up on stories, tales of adventures of far off places, of princesses in peril and their princes rescuing them, they filled my head and sparked my imagination from an early age. I have very fond memories of “Lloyd Brown or “Lloydy” as he was known to us children, telling the most wonderful stories. The only time he didn’t stutter was when he was telling stories, I would travel with him to those far off places from the Grimm fairy tales and just around the corner of the “Anansi” stories of Jamaican fables, these were amongst my favourites. By the time I had to swap the Jamaican sun shine for the winter “watery” sun of England at the age of almost eleven years old. My head was already crammed full of stories to accompany me on my very own adventure to far off England. I may have spent my formative years in the Jamaican country side the wild green woods and perfectly clear rivers but I grew up in London. Long winter days and darkened evenings would find me with my head in a book, the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, Arabian Nights and closer to home Enid Blyton’s Famous Five were later replaced but not forgotten by Mervyn Peake’s Gormenghast, Sterling E Lanier’s Hiero’s Journey. I was a shy introverted child but while at school I was regarded as one of the “cool” kids I was a real Jamaican with the accent to prove it. Libraries became my playground, they helped to fuel my imagination where adventure after adventure played out again and again in my head. I could be anywhere, any place, anytime from my little corner of the local library, I lived in my head my stories gave me a sense of belonging, they sustained me and now somehow one of my adventures found its way onto the page and is about the be shared with others..
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One Response to Changes

  1. Reblogged this on Imzadi Publishing and commented:
    We always love it when our authors share insight into their personal lives. Enjoy this blog post from the author of the highly anticipated….Dragon Bone!


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