Changes happens whether you want it to or not, and we have to roll with it,look it square in the eye and adopt. I feel sad, anxious, and excited, at the changes taking over my life at the moment. At the end of 2015 I left the charity I worked for; for many years,firstly because I didn’t like the direction it was taking, and secondly I wanted to work closer to home. The daily three hours commute, meant, especially in the winter months that I was going to and from work in the dark. So I exchanged working for a large children’s charity for working in local government, in the hope that it would be my last job until retirement. That was not to be the case and 12 months in the post, I find my self looking for a new job. I love my job, love my work family, and I get great satisfaction from seeing troubled families taking their first steps toward making positive changes in their lives.
I have not always worked for charities or with troubled families, I have tried working in investment banking, and hated every moment of it. Within hours of joining the firm I knew that it wasn’t for me and walked out after a few weeks never to returned. I have worked for the BBC, the Queen, Richard Branson, CBS, I have been a gofer, fetcher and all things in between but I always returned to my first love working with the vulnerable. I remember the butterflies, the trembling hands, the dry mouth and the excitement of starting a new job, meeting a new family.I thought I’d lost the ability to have such feelings after working in my field for so many years, but I was wrong.
Recently I discovered those feelings again, in writing. Its taken the place of my old love, and like all new love affairs I get butterflies in my stomach whenever I open my laptop and sit down to write. I never expected that to happen, in the week that I discovered that Imzadi Publishing liked my manuscript and wanted to publish it, I applied for a new position within the local authority and was more excited and nervous at the prospect of managing a team than I was about the publication of my book which surprised me. The post was put on hold then was withdrawn due to consultation over budget cuts and I continue in my old role until just before Christmas when I was told that they have to end my contract. I am not in the process of looking for another job, while not wanting to leave my work family or put my new found love on the back burner.
I am looking forward to the publication of Dragon Bone on May 30th and desperately want to lock myself in a room and just write but I can’t. I am forced to adopt to changes beyond my control. My hours have been chopped from 37 to 18 and what I really want to do is spend my time writing, but instead I have to job search and complete applications.
I have recently completed the second round of editing of Dragon Bone, and was looking forward to going back to writing Lost, the second instalment in the Battle For the Four Realms trilogy but I can’t right now. On casual perusal of the job pages two posts that I should apply for have appeared so, my old love of eating, drinking, and keeping a roof over my head is getting in the way of my new love. I was never built to be a starving artist, I’ve spent too many years cultivating my fine Rubenesque figure only to see it melt away, that’s one change I am not willing to make.